Earlier this year, I wrote about my continuous job issue - getting promoted.
Let's recap:
Last year, I applied for this position, and interviewed with HR. The company suddenly restructured, and HR decided to put the job on hold. I was a leading candidate.
January of this year, the job reopened, for two positions in the area. I applied to both, and waited. I did a preliminary interview with HR, where they asked me to pick one of the two open positions (they're both in the area, but I did have a clear preference), and waited. I then did a final interview with my boss' boss and the man who would have been my boss, and waited. In all, I waited three months. And didn't get the job. I covered that in May.
After I didn't get the job in the first half of the year, I decided to swallow all pride and help the guy who got the job (keep in mind, I used to help him before he got the job, too). I put on a brave face and acted like an adult. I filled in for him three times, a total of about 18 days in three months. I helped him close sales, deal with problems, and covered my office location so that he didn't need to spend as much time with us. He excelled at his job. I took on some more responsibilities, and even became certified to train my team on a new product that pertained to that job.
And then they decided to add a third person to the position. I applied. I interviewed with HR again. I interviewed with my boss' boss' counterpart, and waited. I then had an interview with the new boss over the group in our area (they had expanded the management as well), and waited.
I didn't get the job. Again. The fourth time in less than a year.
This time, they hired a woman in our area who had always been there, pestering the first hire to fill in for him instead of me. She never had the time to do it, and never focused on getting the job, but took a temporary position in management to fill in for someone who was out. And that got her the job. Mind you, I've done that before - I mentioned it at the beginning of May's post (see the demoted link). When I was told that I didn't have the job, I was erroneously told that the person they hired (they didn't tell me who - I found out later) had come from outside the company, and had more experience than I did. As you can imagine, I was quite miffed when I figured out the truth.
Once again, I played the loyal worker and rolled with it. I started conversations with the new boss, and shook hands with the lady who got my job.
And then I started casually looking around for a new job.
My casual search changed only a week later, when my boss for the past three years, a guy I've managed and who had managed me at various times, a guy I've had some issue with before (he was the ultimate cause of being demoted in 2015), but has been the best manager I had in all twelve of my years with the company, was suddenly fired.
They didn't have a reason, really. It was an algorithm, a computer program that scored him against others without taking into account that he was the highest-rated manager in the state, and managing the top location in twelve states. And in his place, they put a guy that had been trying for years to get rid of me. I knew I wouldn't have much time, so I escalated my job search, and looked for jobs within the company around the country - the same position I had been passed over for earlier in the year.
I applied to a position just beyond the state, half a day's drive away. I contacted people back where my parents live, and in the state where my boss considered moving to. I had some interest, got a couple interviews, and got to the tail end of one of them.
And they chose me. The location that's back home, on the other side of the US. Better still, they will pay for my move.
It infuriates me that I couldn't get a job in my own area, where I've worked for a dozen years, but I could get the same job thousands of miles away on the first try. The people who want me to move are genuinely interested in my abilities and success - something I can't get with people 30 miles away from me.
So now I stand on the precipice of massive change for myself and my family. It's a daunting task. But I think that in the end, it will all be worth it. A new adventure awaits - the adventure I wish I could have had here. Instead, I get to spend the next many years far from here, from an area I love, but from situations I despise.
Wish me luck.
-TRM
Sunday, October 30, 2016
Monday, May 23, 2016
It happens again
Funny how things work.
A year ago, I posted about being demoted at work.
The last three months - that's right, THREE MONTHS - I've been waiting for a promotion at work.
But this isn't what I did in the past, this was a job I'd been waiting years for. They only made the position in the past six months, but I had suggested an earlier version of it in 2012.
I applied last year, and interviewed, but they held off due to some corporate restructuring that changed who the bosses were and where they were based out of.
When they reopened the position, I was excited to get this over with. The position was essentually what I was already doing within my own team, but on a larger scale. I'd be duplicating my success across several offices. And when I say success, I should mention (with some humility in my heart) that I am the highest person in reporting for this success in twelve states, and as far as I can tell, the whole company (I have no way to check). By almost triple the best people in the business, and about 50% more than average.
I had lived, breathed, and crapped this metric for many years. The job was made for me.
I interviewed a second time a month after the first with HR. And another month later they reopened the job posting to get more people - after they had already launched a whole team of people in the same position across twelve states. I was automatically applied, but never interviewed again.
And after all the waiting, they gave it to one of the people I've been a mentor to.
And while I was told I wasn't getting the job, I was told it was because I hadn't been doing anything to teach my success to others.
What?
I've taught my own team constantly for years. I'm the guy who put together a group of like-minded people within the other half-dozen offices in our district. I'm the one that those people go to with questions on how to do the job. I'm the one that management asks for help when they need it. This person? They've never done anything to teach others. They don't have the success I've had. They didn't even apply for the job the first time around.
When I was told why I wasn't being hired, I asked that person what I could do to have won the job over what I've already been doing. And the person didn't even know about the things I had been doing in preparation for the job. Hell, they didn't even call my current supervisor. They took the word of my boss' boss, who was in the interview and supposedly was supporting me for the job, yet I rarely see him. The person told me they'd look into what I've been doing. Which told me they hadn't done a damn thing to begin with.
I was fucked from day one.
This isn't the job I lost a year ago. This is the job I waited more than a decade for. This is a job I asked for years before they knew they needed it. This is the job I already do, at least in part.
This was my job. And they took it from me.
I feel lost. I feel angry. I feel like a failure, and a disappointment. I feel alone in my work. I feel useless, unappreciated, and misunderstood.
And I thought it was bad last year.
How much longer do I have to wait for someone at work to see my worth? Because actual, physical results aren't getting me there.
- TRM
A year ago, I posted about being demoted at work.
The last three months - that's right, THREE MONTHS - I've been waiting for a promotion at work.
But this isn't what I did in the past, this was a job I'd been waiting years for. They only made the position in the past six months, but I had suggested an earlier version of it in 2012.
I applied last year, and interviewed, but they held off due to some corporate restructuring that changed who the bosses were and where they were based out of.
When they reopened the position, I was excited to get this over with. The position was essentually what I was already doing within my own team, but on a larger scale. I'd be duplicating my success across several offices. And when I say success, I should mention (with some humility in my heart) that I am the highest person in reporting for this success in twelve states, and as far as I can tell, the whole company (I have no way to check). By almost triple the best people in the business, and about 50% more than average.
I had lived, breathed, and crapped this metric for many years. The job was made for me.
I interviewed a second time a month after the first with HR. And another month later they reopened the job posting to get more people - after they had already launched a whole team of people in the same position across twelve states. I was automatically applied, but never interviewed again.
And after all the waiting, they gave it to one of the people I've been a mentor to.
And while I was told I wasn't getting the job, I was told it was because I hadn't been doing anything to teach my success to others.
What?
I've taught my own team constantly for years. I'm the guy who put together a group of like-minded people within the other half-dozen offices in our district. I'm the one that those people go to with questions on how to do the job. I'm the one that management asks for help when they need it. This person? They've never done anything to teach others. They don't have the success I've had. They didn't even apply for the job the first time around.
When I was told why I wasn't being hired, I asked that person what I could do to have won the job over what I've already been doing. And the person didn't even know about the things I had been doing in preparation for the job. Hell, they didn't even call my current supervisor. They took the word of my boss' boss, who was in the interview and supposedly was supporting me for the job, yet I rarely see him. The person told me they'd look into what I've been doing. Which told me they hadn't done a damn thing to begin with.
I was fucked from day one.
This isn't the job I lost a year ago. This is the job I waited more than a decade for. This is a job I asked for years before they knew they needed it. This is the job I already do, at least in part.
This was my job. And they took it from me.
I feel lost. I feel angry. I feel like a failure, and a disappointment. I feel alone in my work. I feel useless, unappreciated, and misunderstood.
And I thought it was bad last year.
How much longer do I have to wait for someone at work to see my worth? Because actual, physical results aren't getting me there.
- TRM
Sunday, July 19, 2015
So few people read this
I came on here tonight to talk about my project today.
Before writing this entry, I looked at my stats. As expected, I get so few hits. I designed it that day, of course, by creating an anonymous blog and barely ever posting on it. It's like I won in some small way, though it would be a bit more therapeutic to have more than four occasional readers.
Thanks for reading. You know who you are.
TRM
Before writing this entry, I looked at my stats. As expected, I get so few hits. I designed it that day, of course, by creating an anonymous blog and barely ever posting on it. It's like I won in some small way, though it would be a bit more therapeutic to have more than four occasional readers.
Thanks for reading. You know who you are.
TRM
Wednesday, May 20, 2015
Demoting
I found out today that I was being demoted down one role at work.
I had been promoted in December. It was "acting," or temporary, but the company does that to give themselves an "out" if things didn't work out. Turns out, someone in the same role turned in his notice a month back. They backfilled his position before he left, and then he changed his mind. So once he became extra, I became expendable.
Funny enough, he's probably going to leave in a year or less. In the meantime, I get to "wait" until the next position opens up, which feels much more like a huge middle finger in my face than a guarantee.
If I hadn't been working for this promotion for many years, maybe I could get over it.
Instead, I'm forced to reconsider my eleven year career to start over, or bend over and take it like a good employee.
Hooray for me.
TRM
I had been promoted in December. It was "acting," or temporary, but the company does that to give themselves an "out" if things didn't work out. Turns out, someone in the same role turned in his notice a month back. They backfilled his position before he left, and then he changed his mind. So once he became extra, I became expendable.
Funny enough, he's probably going to leave in a year or less. In the meantime, I get to "wait" until the next position opens up, which feels much more like a huge middle finger in my face than a guarantee.
If I hadn't been working for this promotion for many years, maybe I could get over it.
Instead, I'm forced to reconsider my eleven year career to start over, or bend over and take it like a good employee.
Hooray for me.
TRM
Thursday, March 26, 2015
In response to The Law of Tithing
You Don't Have to Can to Get to Heaven: Discussion: The Law of Tithing
A friend recently talked about when she decided she could no longer support paying a tithing to the LDS church. It got me thinking about when I left The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, and prompted me to write on my anonymous blog (hence you reading this).
I was a convert to the LDS church. I commonly explain to others that I joined the church for the wrong reasons. It aptly describes how I ended up a Mormon and later leaving. The reasons are much deeper and complex than that, but it adequately explains my initial membership in the LDS church.
At some point I stopped pretending to believe and believed. I could probably write an entire dissertation on what that means, but I honestly felt that I had accepted the Mormon yoke upon my shoulders. Just after taking on these beliefs as my own, I started to learn deeper truths that led me to change those beliefs and once again pretend to believe. That process was complicated and formed into a clearer picture over a few years time.
During my time in the church, tithing evolved over the years. At first, tithing was a difficult thing, as I'd never done it before. My first wife, who had grown up LDS in Utah, tithed from the moment she started going to church again. We cohabitated (in sin, if you will) for about a year and a half before we got married, and I never tithed. During that time, there was a lot of pressure on me to join the church, which only became stronger after we got married. It was around that time that the ward members and missionaries, not to mention my first wife, were wearing me down on joining the church. After finally joining the church, I started paying a tithe. And that's when things got hard.
I didn't make a lot at work. My wife at that time had been working while we dated, and even after we got married, so our two incomes were adequate to pay for our home and bills, even with her tithing. But once we had our first child, she stopped working to be home with our daughter. I became the sole income provider. She'd been working for an insurance company, and lost our wonderful 100% covered insurance when she quit, and I couldn't afford the insurance at my work. We went from doing just fine to being poor in a matter of months. But I kept paying my tithe.
At some point, my dad (who had been supportive of me joining the church, to some extent) pulled me aside and asked me where my money went. I'd lost almost 50 pounds from eating free popcorn at work for lunch. We were having Stove Top Stuffing almost every night for dinner,and getting food through WIC. My wife took on a baby sitting job for a couple of kids to earn some money, and we even had a former coworker of my wife living in our home for income. My dad saw us struggling, and wanted to know why.
Eventually, he zeroed in on tithing as a big problem, and it made him furious.
I was paying 10% of my measly income to the church, and starving myself, my wife, and our young child.
They always said that paying a tithe without question would reward you in blessings. I believed they were there, but it took a non-Mormon pointing out that I needed to go on welfare assistance to make me wonder if I was really blessed for my sacrifice.
I put the logic aside and continued to pay tithing for many years. Eventually, my first wife convinced me to move to Utah, leaving my life behind. I was going to finish college (didn't), live in my mother-in-law's basement to save money (didn't), and grow spiritually (worked for a while).
When I had no job, I didn't pay any tithing. Conversing with my ward bishop, I'd often feel guilty for not paying a tithe, even though I wasn't making anything. In time, I stopped going to school and got a job, and started tithing again. By then, the allure of the LDS church in Utah was wearing off, and a couple years later I stopped paying tithing in anticipation of leaving the church. I stopped cold-turkey at the end of 2004, and it was actually nice to keep more of my earnings. For the first time in years, I could afford a house again. I didn't struggle as much, and I certainly didn't feel guilty. In some way, I felt freed when I stopped paying a tithe.
Years before, my dad had made a point which I chose to ignore: your family comes first. At a time when I was starving myself, my wife, and my baby girl, I should have been using that money for food. The church raked in billions of dollars and used it as it saw fit. Members of the ward (and the bishop) knew we were struggling, and only once did the storehouse come up. We used it only the one time.
These past few years, my current wife and I have struggled. We've gone to the church - our neighbors - for help after they offered, and do you know what one of the first comments were? We should be paying tithing. My family is struggling, and you want me to help the church. I can easily imagine what it would be like if I had been paying a tithe because I'd been there before.
I'm sorry, I learned that lesson ten years ago. Family comes first. You have enough money already.
A friend recently talked about when she decided she could no longer support paying a tithing to the LDS church. It got me thinking about when I left The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, and prompted me to write on my anonymous blog (hence you reading this).
I was a convert to the LDS church. I commonly explain to others that I joined the church for the wrong reasons. It aptly describes how I ended up a Mormon and later leaving. The reasons are much deeper and complex than that, but it adequately explains my initial membership in the LDS church.
At some point I stopped pretending to believe and believed. I could probably write an entire dissertation on what that means, but I honestly felt that I had accepted the Mormon yoke upon my shoulders. Just after taking on these beliefs as my own, I started to learn deeper truths that led me to change those beliefs and once again pretend to believe. That process was complicated and formed into a clearer picture over a few years time.
During my time in the church, tithing evolved over the years. At first, tithing was a difficult thing, as I'd never done it before. My first wife, who had grown up LDS in Utah, tithed from the moment she started going to church again. We cohabitated (in sin, if you will) for about a year and a half before we got married, and I never tithed. During that time, there was a lot of pressure on me to join the church, which only became stronger after we got married. It was around that time that the ward members and missionaries, not to mention my first wife, were wearing me down on joining the church. After finally joining the church, I started paying a tithe. And that's when things got hard.
I didn't make a lot at work. My wife at that time had been working while we dated, and even after we got married, so our two incomes were adequate to pay for our home and bills, even with her tithing. But once we had our first child, she stopped working to be home with our daughter. I became the sole income provider. She'd been working for an insurance company, and lost our wonderful 100% covered insurance when she quit, and I couldn't afford the insurance at my work. We went from doing just fine to being poor in a matter of months. But I kept paying my tithe.
At some point, my dad (who had been supportive of me joining the church, to some extent) pulled me aside and asked me where my money went. I'd lost almost 50 pounds from eating free popcorn at work for lunch. We were having Stove Top Stuffing almost every night for dinner,and getting food through WIC. My wife took on a baby sitting job for a couple of kids to earn some money, and we even had a former coworker of my wife living in our home for income. My dad saw us struggling, and wanted to know why.
Eventually, he zeroed in on tithing as a big problem, and it made him furious.
I was paying 10% of my measly income to the church, and starving myself, my wife, and our young child.
They always said that paying a tithe without question would reward you in blessings. I believed they were there, but it took a non-Mormon pointing out that I needed to go on welfare assistance to make me wonder if I was really blessed for my sacrifice.
I put the logic aside and continued to pay tithing for many years. Eventually, my first wife convinced me to move to Utah, leaving my life behind. I was going to finish college (didn't), live in my mother-in-law's basement to save money (didn't), and grow spiritually (worked for a while).
When I had no job, I didn't pay any tithing. Conversing with my ward bishop, I'd often feel guilty for not paying a tithe, even though I wasn't making anything. In time, I stopped going to school and got a job, and started tithing again. By then, the allure of the LDS church in Utah was wearing off, and a couple years later I stopped paying tithing in anticipation of leaving the church. I stopped cold-turkey at the end of 2004, and it was actually nice to keep more of my earnings. For the first time in years, I could afford a house again. I didn't struggle as much, and I certainly didn't feel guilty. In some way, I felt freed when I stopped paying a tithe.
Years before, my dad had made a point which I chose to ignore: your family comes first. At a time when I was starving myself, my wife, and my baby girl, I should have been using that money for food. The church raked in billions of dollars and used it as it saw fit. Members of the ward (and the bishop) knew we were struggling, and only once did the storehouse come up. We used it only the one time.
These past few years, my current wife and I have struggled. We've gone to the church - our neighbors - for help after they offered, and do you know what one of the first comments were? We should be paying tithing. My family is struggling, and you want me to help the church. I can easily imagine what it would be like if I had been paying a tithe because I'd been there before.
I'm sorry, I learned that lesson ten years ago. Family comes first. You have enough money already.
Wednesday, November 13, 2013
Monday, January 30, 2012
Really?
Has it really been so long?
Interestingly, my last blog entry here was from May 12, 2010. It even started with "I haven't written in a while."
Curious.
The irony of the timing of that post doesn't escape me. I had a serious medical incident only two weeks later, which took me out of work for eight months. I had to be in a wheelchair for months, then relearn to walk when I was ready. It was a hard road, and I'm still recovering from it almost two years later.
So much has changed. I have a new perspective now. My time is too precious not to be working toward my dream of being a full-time writer. I've set my mind on it, and now I'm working for what I want. I'm still suffering through a shitty work environment, but at least I have writing to take my mind off it. Everything changed while I was gone, and I don't just mean our product. The people changed. The environment changed. A little bit of our dignity died, and I was lucky to avoid some of it.
My wife had an accident while I was out on leave. At first, it might have seemed somewhat minor. But it's turned into something much worse that we will struggle with the rest of our lives. It's taken a toll on her. It's taken a toll on me. It's also done the same on our kids and pets. Her family is oblivious to what's going on. Not that we haven't tried explaining it to them. The silver lining to her condition has been bringing the two of us closer together. I'm more in love with her now than the day I married her.
Interestingly, my last blog entry here was from May 12, 2010. It even started with "I haven't written in a while."
Curious.
The irony of the timing of that post doesn't escape me. I had a serious medical incident only two weeks later, which took me out of work for eight months. I had to be in a wheelchair for months, then relearn to walk when I was ready. It was a hard road, and I'm still recovering from it almost two years later.
So much has changed. I have a new perspective now. My time is too precious not to be working toward my dream of being a full-time writer. I've set my mind on it, and now I'm working for what I want. I'm still suffering through a shitty work environment, but at least I have writing to take my mind off it. Everything changed while I was gone, and I don't just mean our product. The people changed. The environment changed. A little bit of our dignity died, and I was lucky to avoid some of it.
My wife had an accident while I was out on leave. At first, it might have seemed somewhat minor. But it's turned into something much worse that we will struggle with the rest of our lives. It's taken a toll on her. It's taken a toll on me. It's also done the same on our kids and pets. Her family is oblivious to what's going on. Not that we haven't tried explaining it to them. The silver lining to her condition has been bringing the two of us closer together. I'm more in love with her now than the day I married her.
One of my closest friends seemed to fall off the face of the earth, and I have no idea why. I say this in mind of the fact that I've come to terms with it now. But to say it didn't effect me since 2010 would be a lie. It changed a lot of things for me. I gave up on people who had given up on me many years ago.
Everything changed since then.
The good news is, I'm in a much better place to follow my dream of being a writer. I have the desire now to see it through. It's imperative that something, even small things, change for the better. And with this, I have some degree of control. I can change the way things are.
I don't know if anyone even reads this anymore. I know I don't. But know this, stranger, I will succeed, despite you, them, or even me.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Life, Time, Balance
I haven't written in a while.
I haven't written here. Or on my actual blog. Or on my other, tech-oriented blogs. And barely for myself.
There's a writing contest deadline in two days. I don't have anything.
Some days, I just feel like writing is done. There's a lot of things in my life that feel that way. I wonder if the stresses in my personal life are keeping me from writing inspiration. I wonder if the need to write is so strong, and the failure to write so terrible, that's it's caused the stresses in life.
For the first time in a long time, work is not my issue. Life is. Time is.
I want so terribly to provide for my family, and I stress so much about bringing in an income, that I burn out doing it. I burn out so bad that I have the need to write, which is a way of clearing my mind. But when I sit down to write, I'm so burned out that I can't get started. Then I stray onto the web to find something to think about. I spend hours thinking, only to find no result. Just now, I spent most of the morning waiting to write, only to write at this very moment with minutes to spare before I must get ready for work. I don't have enough time to write, and yet, I waste hours waiting to write.
It's effecting my marriage now. I love my wife like I've never loved another person in my life, and yet, I'm pushing her from me. I'm toxic to her. I'm dragging her down. I don't mean to, it just happens. My need for clarity is so strong that it's overpowering my need to be with her. I feel my need for her fighting with everything else, and I can't find balance between all the things I need. I can't clear my mind on all fronts - only one front at a time.
I need my wife and family. I need peace in my life. I need to pay my bills comfortably. I need happiness.
I used to think a career in writing was the answer to that. It was a step into something that would make me happy. It's done nothing but cause me the opposite. I'd take a hiatus from it, but I'm already effectively doing that. No, maybe it's time to find a new dream. Maybe it's time for a realistic dream.
I just don't know what that entails.
I haven't written here. Or on my actual blog. Or on my other, tech-oriented blogs. And barely for myself.
There's a writing contest deadline in two days. I don't have anything.
Some days, I just feel like writing is done. There's a lot of things in my life that feel that way. I wonder if the stresses in my personal life are keeping me from writing inspiration. I wonder if the need to write is so strong, and the failure to write so terrible, that's it's caused the stresses in life.
For the first time in a long time, work is not my issue. Life is. Time is.
I want so terribly to provide for my family, and I stress so much about bringing in an income, that I burn out doing it. I burn out so bad that I have the need to write, which is a way of clearing my mind. But when I sit down to write, I'm so burned out that I can't get started. Then I stray onto the web to find something to think about. I spend hours thinking, only to find no result. Just now, I spent most of the morning waiting to write, only to write at this very moment with minutes to spare before I must get ready for work. I don't have enough time to write, and yet, I waste hours waiting to write.
It's effecting my marriage now. I love my wife like I've never loved another person in my life, and yet, I'm pushing her from me. I'm toxic to her. I'm dragging her down. I don't mean to, it just happens. My need for clarity is so strong that it's overpowering my need to be with her. I feel my need for her fighting with everything else, and I can't find balance between all the things I need. I can't clear my mind on all fronts - only one front at a time.
I need my wife and family. I need peace in my life. I need to pay my bills comfortably. I need happiness.
I used to think a career in writing was the answer to that. It was a step into something that would make me happy. It's done nothing but cause me the opposite. I'd take a hiatus from it, but I'm already effectively doing that. No, maybe it's time to find a new dream. Maybe it's time for a realistic dream.
I just don't know what that entails.
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Today
Today I was told I did not get the promotion.
I was told that I didn't interview well, which was apparently a surprise because I have a reputation for interviewing well, as I was told.
I walked into the interview certain I wasn't the choice for them, and blew the interview in the process. Who knows if I would have been the one, but I certainly would have been a better candidate had I not placed my head up my own ass.
How stupid am I?
I was told that I didn't interview well, which was apparently a surprise because I have a reputation for interviewing well, as I was told.
I walked into the interview certain I wasn't the choice for them, and blew the interview in the process. Who knows if I would have been the one, but I certainly would have been a better candidate had I not placed my head up my own ass.
How stupid am I?
Sunday, September 20, 2009
More on Promotion
So we had our interviews for the recently opened assistant manager position. My coworker who applied to avoid having to work under the former coworker tells me that he was told during his interview that former coworkers withdrew. Our assumption is that he withdrew when he learned the better coworker had applied.
Initially, I had a reaction that I'd had the rug pulled out from under me. When coworker told me he'd applied, even though earlier in the week I'd talked to him about it and seemed to have his "blessing" and support, I felt a little screwed. Despite that, knowing this coworker, I don't doubt that his intentions were honest. He doesn't play games like some in the Lundberg state of mind, and I can usually trust him to be an honest guy.
Now, I can't help but wonder if his reason for applying was a ruse. However, I had indicated to a party who also knew of the situation that I was aware of what was going on, and that Lundberg's reaction was genuinely indicative that I had correct information.
Well, since the interviews are done, I can only wait to learn that I did not get the promotion.
I've been a very upbeat guy these last few years. In the past, I would have taken this situation poorly and fallen into a depression over it. I had that moment, for sure, but it hasn't lingered. I've kept myself positive through all this. But still, I can't help but question myself sometimes. Is being upbeat a good thing? Or am I just fooling myself?
Initially, I had a reaction that I'd had the rug pulled out from under me. When coworker told me he'd applied, even though earlier in the week I'd talked to him about it and seemed to have his "blessing" and support, I felt a little screwed. Despite that, knowing this coworker, I don't doubt that his intentions were honest. He doesn't play games like some in the Lundberg state of mind, and I can usually trust him to be an honest guy.
Now, I can't help but wonder if his reason for applying was a ruse. However, I had indicated to a party who also knew of the situation that I was aware of what was going on, and that Lundberg's reaction was genuinely indicative that I had correct information.
Well, since the interviews are done, I can only wait to learn that I did not get the promotion.
I've been a very upbeat guy these last few years. In the past, I would have taken this situation poorly and fallen into a depression over it. I had that moment, for sure, but it hasn't lingered. I've kept myself positive through all this. But still, I can't help but question myself sometimes. Is being upbeat a good thing? Or am I just fooling myself?
Sunday, September 13, 2009
And so...
So it turns out ANOTHER promotion opportunity came up last week. I was alerted by my Assistant Lundberg friend that it was happening, so I applied for it that evening.
I have a coworker who used to be an Assistant Lundberg at a different branch. When the branch closed, they moved the employees who were there to our branch. They gave that coworker a choice: severant's package, or demotion to a sales position. He's been with the company for about seven years, and enjoys the environment, so he considered taking the demotion. It was when he realized he'd make more in commissions and salary than he was as a Lundberg that he took the demotion. He's a great coworker, a little difficult to work with sometimes - especially when I was an Assistant Lundberg while one of them was out on medical leave - but I can work with him fine.
I had asked him if he was applying for the new position, and he told me he wasn't. He has other aspirations to move on to our business sales department, and has been working closly with that department for some time to get his foot in the door.
And then, yesterday, everything changed.
Coworker pulled me aside and told me that a former coworker, someone who had been transferred to a different branch when they needed to fill an opening, had applied to the new position. I was a Lundberg when the need to move someone came up, and we chose this individual because of the negativity he keeps around himself. He doesn't work well with others, he doesn't work well as part of the overall team, and he has a nasty disdain for the customers we serve. It was a win for us to move him somewhere else. And now, he's trying to come back with a promotion. How his being a Lundberg in our office makes sense is beyond me, but according to my coworker, he has the support of multiple Lundbergs and an employee from sales. These guys all go golfing together every week, so they're close buds.
Coworker and I agree that working for this former coworker would be a living hell. And then, coworker told me he applied for the position, too.
Assuring me he was all in support of me getting the position, he told me that with the overwhelming support of Lundbergs, both from our branch and others, there was no way he was willing to chance former coworker getting the promotion over me. So, with his previous two years as an Assistant Lundberg, he applied for the same title and roll he once had at his previous branch to ensure that he did not have to work for former coworker.
I'm just about fed up with all this shit. I just can't catch a break, can I?
I have a coworker who used to be an Assistant Lundberg at a different branch. When the branch closed, they moved the employees who were there to our branch. They gave that coworker a choice: severant's package, or demotion to a sales position. He's been with the company for about seven years, and enjoys the environment, so he considered taking the demotion. It was when he realized he'd make more in commissions and salary than he was as a Lundberg that he took the demotion. He's a great coworker, a little difficult to work with sometimes - especially when I was an Assistant Lundberg while one of them was out on medical leave - but I can work with him fine.
I had asked him if he was applying for the new position, and he told me he wasn't. He has other aspirations to move on to our business sales department, and has been working closly with that department for some time to get his foot in the door.
And then, yesterday, everything changed.
Coworker pulled me aside and told me that a former coworker, someone who had been transferred to a different branch when they needed to fill an opening, had applied to the new position. I was a Lundberg when the need to move someone came up, and we chose this individual because of the negativity he keeps around himself. He doesn't work well with others, he doesn't work well as part of the overall team, and he has a nasty disdain for the customers we serve. It was a win for us to move him somewhere else. And now, he's trying to come back with a promotion. How his being a Lundberg in our office makes sense is beyond me, but according to my coworker, he has the support of multiple Lundbergs and an employee from sales. These guys all go golfing together every week, so they're close buds.
Coworker and I agree that working for this former coworker would be a living hell. And then, coworker told me he applied for the position, too.
Assuring me he was all in support of me getting the position, he told me that with the overwhelming support of Lundbergs, both from our branch and others, there was no way he was willing to chance former coworker getting the promotion over me. So, with his previous two years as an Assistant Lundberg, he applied for the same title and roll he once had at his previous branch to ensure that he did not have to work for former coworker.
I'm just about fed up with all this shit. I just can't catch a break, can I?
Thursday, September 3, 2009
A Promotional Note
The promotion I had for three months was the best time I've had with Innotech in five years. I accomplished much, and didn't have a chance to accomplish more.
An opportunity to get promoted this month to the same position but FULL TIME came up. I had good conversations with the Bob above my Main Lundberg, and even had a good interview. But Bob decided to pick someone else instead of me. Why?
Because Main Lundberg threw me under a bus.
Main Lundberg told Bob that I wasn't good at communicating with the employees. Main Lunberg couldn't tell the entire office that the building was on fire with soot all over his face, a wicked and smoky cough, and flames coming off of his clothes. He couldn't motivate a hooker to have sex. He can't talk to a microphone without it ignoring him. And somehow, I can't be my own Lundberg because I can't get my message across? And worst of all, am I supposed to learn it from HIM?
So I didn't get the promotion, thanks to my boss. I've never felt so violated in my life. I rode on Main Lundberg's coattails for the last couple years hoping that loyalty would pay off. He got promoted to Assistant Bob just before my interview, and then kicked me in the shin and left me to wallow in pain in his dust.
Thanks, dick.
An opportunity to get promoted this month to the same position but FULL TIME came up. I had good conversations with the Bob above my Main Lundberg, and even had a good interview. But Bob decided to pick someone else instead of me. Why?
Because Main Lundberg threw me under a bus.
Main Lundberg told Bob that I wasn't good at communicating with the employees. Main Lunberg couldn't tell the entire office that the building was on fire with soot all over his face, a wicked and smoky cough, and flames coming off of his clothes. He couldn't motivate a hooker to have sex. He can't talk to a microphone without it ignoring him. And somehow, I can't be my own Lundberg because I can't get my message across? And worst of all, am I supposed to learn it from HIM?
So I didn't get the promotion, thanks to my boss. I've never felt so violated in my life. I rode on Main Lundberg's coattails for the last couple years hoping that loyalty would pay off. He got promoted to Assistant Bob just before my interview, and then kicked me in the shin and left me to wallow in pain in his dust.
Thanks, dick.
1:1.2
So my "1:1" meeting (that's "one on one" for those not suffering from familiar with corporate lingo) went completely different than plan.
The meeting was intended for me to set my goals for the month of September, as well as discuss my performance during the month of August. Normally in these meetings, I would have to face three months worth of performance. Because I had been temporarily promoted from May through July because one of the Assistant Lundbergs was out on medical leave, I didn't have a three month review to deal with. What I DID have to deal with was a sorry month of performance for someone who had been "out of the game" a little bit. I was not looking forward to having to answer for that month.
As I sat down with the Assistant Lundberg, I told him straight out that I thought my goals for the month were crap. I told him that I didn't entirely agree with the pre-formated process that every employee is to use when dealing with a customer. I told him that none of my coworkers were following the pre-formated process and are only pretending to follow it in order to get the Main Lundberg off our backs. I was brutally honest. Of course, it helps that this was the Lundberg I can talk to. In fact, I'll now refer to him as Mike B.
Mike B is the one manager I can work with. He's the one manager I can be frank with. And so, I had no problem venting my frustrations to him.
Of course, it helps that Mike B feels comfortable enough to bitch about our Main Lundberg with me. And so, he did. We bitched it up for a little while, and didn't really get to my monthly goals until the very end.
However, I did stick my neck out a bit. In my three-month experience as an Assistant Lundberg, I developed a theory about how to fix some of the low morale and general disatisfaction within our office group. Granted, we can't kill off the Main Lundberg, so another theory was developed.
I decided to ignore the customer-facing pre-formated process we're supposed to use. There's value in what it's saying, but the way the Main Lundberg wants us to follow it doesn't make any sense. So, I came up with three simple ways for the sales and service force to accomplish the goals of the pre-formated process piece of crap:
1) Find something you believe in concerning our products and share it with our customers. Testify of it's usefulness. Let your passions come out. BELIEVE IN SOMETHING OUR PRODUCT DOES, NOT JUST WHAT IT IS.
2) Know the customer. I want each of the team members to discover some snippet of information about a customer. I want an Assistant Lundberg to be able to walk up to one of the customer-facing employees and learn something about their previous customer. I don't want to know anything about the product we provide them. I want to know about their Aunt Glynis, their job, their first kiss - WHATEVER, I just don't want to know which Innotech product they use or how they use it. My intention is for the sales and service teams to KNOW THEIR CUSTOMER.
3) They need to think on their toes. If a customer tells you they don't want some product, give them an answer to why they might. This plays off the first thing I want the team to do: come up with a reason TO want the product - don't just give up when the customer says no. We all need to THINK QUICKLY.
So, after giving Mike B my speech, I got volunteered to present some of this tomorrow in our office meeting.
Great.
Still... maybe someone will listen.
The meeting was intended for me to set my goals for the month of September, as well as discuss my performance during the month of August. Normally in these meetings, I would have to face three months worth of performance. Because I had been temporarily promoted from May through July because one of the Assistant Lundbergs was out on medical leave, I didn't have a three month review to deal with. What I DID have to deal with was a sorry month of performance for someone who had been "out of the game" a little bit. I was not looking forward to having to answer for that month.
As I sat down with the Assistant Lundberg, I told him straight out that I thought my goals for the month were crap. I told him that I didn't entirely agree with the pre-formated process that every employee is to use when dealing with a customer. I told him that none of my coworkers were following the pre-formated process and are only pretending to follow it in order to get the Main Lundberg off our backs. I was brutally honest. Of course, it helps that this was the Lundberg I can talk to. In fact, I'll now refer to him as Mike B.
Mike B is the one manager I can work with. He's the one manager I can be frank with. And so, I had no problem venting my frustrations to him.
Of course, it helps that Mike B feels comfortable enough to bitch about our Main Lundberg with me. And so, he did. We bitched it up for a little while, and didn't really get to my monthly goals until the very end.
However, I did stick my neck out a bit. In my three-month experience as an Assistant Lundberg, I developed a theory about how to fix some of the low morale and general disatisfaction within our office group. Granted, we can't kill off the Main Lundberg, so another theory was developed.
I decided to ignore the customer-facing pre-formated process we're supposed to use. There's value in what it's saying, but the way the Main Lundberg wants us to follow it doesn't make any sense. So, I came up with three simple ways for the sales and service force to accomplish the goals of the pre-formated process piece of crap:
1) Find something you believe in concerning our products and share it with our customers. Testify of it's usefulness. Let your passions come out. BELIEVE IN SOMETHING OUR PRODUCT DOES, NOT JUST WHAT IT IS.
2) Know the customer. I want each of the team members to discover some snippet of information about a customer. I want an Assistant Lundberg to be able to walk up to one of the customer-facing employees and learn something about their previous customer. I don't want to know anything about the product we provide them. I want to know about their Aunt Glynis, their job, their first kiss - WHATEVER, I just don't want to know which Innotech product they use or how they use it. My intention is for the sales and service teams to KNOW THEIR CUSTOMER.
3) They need to think on their toes. If a customer tells you they don't want some product, give them an answer to why they might. This plays off the first thing I want the team to do: come up with a reason TO want the product - don't just give up when the customer says no. We all need to THINK QUICKLY.
So, after giving Mike B my speech, I got volunteered to present some of this tomorrow in our office meeting.
Great.
Still... maybe someone will listen.
1:1
In a few minutes I'll be going into a meeting with my Assistant Lundberg to discuss how much I sucked as an employee last month.
I'm tired of being measured by what my customers decide they do or do not want from my company.
And referring to a meeting as a "1:1?". Come on! Call it what it is: a test of one's employee soul.
I'm tired of being measured by what my customers decide they do or do not want from my company.
And referring to a meeting as a "1:1?". Come on! Call it what it is: a test of one's employee soul.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
A Blog is Born
I am a regular blogger. I've seen my blog range between a few family members a week to 60,000 readers in a month. I found that having family and friends read my blog was difficult enough, but having an ex wife and work people reading my blog makes blogging more difficult. I practically stopped blogging because of the lack of anonymity.
I can write voraciously at times. But I find my writing neutered when I can't even complain about something at work without my boss knowing about it, and I can't complain about my ex-wife without causing problems for my kids. So, at the suggestion of my second wife, I've created this blog so I can write with passion instead of writing with worry.
I might bitch about someone. I might praise them. I might say "fuck." I might say "love." The point is, I can write whatever I want.
A few basics:
First, I will change the name of everything. For instance, my name is Mike.
Second, I will simply work for Innotech. I know, it's a lame Office Space reference, but it works.
Third, even my mom's name has been changed. Her name is now Mom.
Fourth, if by some chance you know who I am, either on purpose or by mistake, please please please keep my secret safe. If you were to divulge my identity you would, quite quickly ruin my life. I would lose my job (Innotech searches their employees' blogs every day), I could lose my kids (the court would not look too kindly on me bitching about my ex-wife), and I could lose my sanity (I'm here to get things off my mind). If you've been given the privelage of reading this blog, it's because I need an audience that does not include Mom, Lundberg from work, or my Ex.
I promise to be outspoken and honest. I will not hold back. I will speak my mind (as I used to do so freely). I will write until I can't write any more.
For those of you who stumble upon my blog, please, get the word out. I write to be read as well as to get things off my chest. The more the merrier.
Thank you for reading.
Mike (TRM)
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